Arriving Spring 2020

Jeffrey Denny

Waiting For

Waiting for Uber book cover

Schadenfreude is German for taking pleasure in another’s misfortune, and translates as “malicious joy.” But what’s German for “taking joy in irritation”? Admit it: We all do. Google translates the phrase as Freude an der Verärgerung, which sounds Freudian in a fun, disturbing way. In that vein, Waiting for Uber, Jeffrey Denny’s first collection of essays, delves into our delicious irritants, from yard crews demanding Second Amendment rights (“leaf blowers don’t blow leaves, people do”); to the terrible things your spam says about you; to dealing with “DKS,” the sufferers of Dunning Kruger Syndrome that makes incompetent people blissfully unaware of their incompetence and become president of the United States.

If you’re irked by ride-hailing drivers, the Internet of Things, the robot apocalypse, dockless scooters or how Febreze ruined gansta rap, Denny shares your feelings because he cares too much.

While musing on vital issues such as deviled eggs, manhood, relationships, healthcare mergers, George Washington’s TripAdvisor posts, ghosting, and why gerbils are just as good as dogs in teaching human lessons, Denny also offers priceless life lessons, learned the hard way, that you won’t get from “experts” on the Internet.

In Waiting for Uber, you’ll find tips on taking a patient survey without provoking the doctor’s retaliation; hardly working from home; politely getting out of going out; letting go of road rage; and how to stop dreading and start enjoying your next colonoscopy. Denny also teaches empty nesters how to do nothing. And for anyone seeking the perfect holiday gift for family and friends, he suggests giving them the self-help books they need.

First published on, with thousands of readers with nothing better to do, Denny’s musings in Waiting for Uber are perfect for anyone who agrees with Theodore Roosevelt’s cousin, the socialite Alice Longworth Roosevelt, when she said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.”

Excerpt from title essay, Waiting for Uber:

Colleague: Let’s go!
Me: We can’t.
Colleague: Why not?
Me: We’re waiting for an Uber.
Colleague: [despairingly] Ah! [Pause] You’re sure it was here?
Me: What?
Colleague: We were to wait.
Me: I said 14th and New York. At the corner. Do you see any others?
Colleague: Do you think we’re waiting at the wrong place?
Me: He should be here.
Colleague: Did he say for sure he’d come? You’re sure it was this evening?
Me: What?
Colleague: We were to wait.